Tag Archives: adultery

Because These Are Sacred Scars

“If he knows you are leaving him, if he knows time has run out, there are two likely outcomes.  He will either try to get you pregnant or he will physically harm you,” my psychologist said in a quiet, serious tone.

I nodded in agreement, tears on my cheeks. I could keep my decision a secret for a little while longer.

I would not tell my estranged husband I discovered the whole truth about the double-life he kept hidden from me since the day he met me. I would continue taking his calls. I would do what I needed to do to protect myself until legal steps had been taken to dissolve our marriage.

I know what it’s like to spend days in fear of a man who isn’t getting what he thinks is owed to him, a man who believes he is above the law, above God, above anyone who dared call him out on his deception or his narcissism. I suppose that’s one reason why #YesAllWomen, was a powerful witness to me; it was a reminder of the same, all-too common demons other women have in their pasts too. Stories, told in 140 characters on Twitter, ranged from intimate partner violence to street harassment to church abuse, and I nodded my head as I read, sobered by these truths.

The Santa Barbara shootings brought about tragic, violent and untimely deaths for all the victims and for the shooter, and the anguish of their families and their friends is something I cannot fathom. I’m at a loss for words when lives are taken in acts of violence, and I would venture to say many others are at a loss for words too. That’s why I think it’s important to note the #YesAllWomen movement isn’t really about the Santa Barbara shooting.{Continue reading here.}