Tag Archives: Church

Hey Jesus, it’s me. Your people make me sad.

Stones

A couple days ago, I asked readers to consider giving to World Vision as they received swell after swell of hatred and condemnation as a result of the decision to allow gay men and women, in America, to work for the organization.

This afternoon, they have retracted their decision, calling it “a mistake”.

I have my own ideas about this sudden backpedaling; if you’re a thinking person, you do too.

But what’s done is done, yes? Now, we need to get back to the work of the Kingdom.

I’m rubbing my eyes through the debris of this debacle, mouth crooked in what feels like a permanent Huh?

How shall we then live?

//

I hit my steering wheel as the tears fall, and I will them to stop. I don’t understand why I’m so emotional about this.

But then I do.

I’m crying because this is Life Everlasting we’re supposed to be bearing witness to, and in this moment, truth is, I don’t even want to spend eternity with what feels like the majority of your people, God; it feels far more like hell than heaven.  

I can’t stand the hate.

I can’t stand the sick, passive aggressive bullshit responses about “praying for World Vision” or “everyone’s entitled to their opinion” while they withdraw (or encourage others to withdraw) financial support from impoverished children and their communities.

I can’t stand it because it lacks You, in every way. I don’t see you here, God.

I want off this ride.   

//

They’re not making you feel this way.

Excuse me, God?

I know you’re looking for a place, a group of people, to lay the blame for what’s breaking your heart, but you’re not going to find resolution there.

I’m silent.

My thoughts turn to my gay Christian friend, Ben.

A couple days ago he shared his feelings on what he heard when people condemned World Vision’s policy change, and I haven’t been able to get his words out of my mind.

“No, you aren’t even worthy to serve hungry children. You are so deeply unwanted that I will let a child die if it keeps you away from me. From us. From the body of Christ. I will spare no life if it keeps you far away.”

The tears keep rolling, hot down my face, and I lean into the emotion of it all.

//

People like Ben Moberg, yes, that’s why my eyes are welling up. I think about his mom and dad, and my tears are for them too.

How must it feel to be so callously, in the name of the “gospel”, rejected by fellow believers?

The ripple effect of hatred over people, people God has called, Beloved, threatens to drown out love.

But I don’t want that to happen, not really.

//

Stand with them.

That’s what God would have me do.

And so I will.

Kingdom love is to be multiplied, not subtracted. And so I will go where the love is, plant seeds there, and watch the beauty of God live among those who make it their mission to live as He lived.