I got rid of Facebook over a year ago. It wasn’t an impulsive deletion; it was an intentional, kicking FB ass to the curb kind of decision. This post isn’t about why I deleted my Facebook account, but maybe I’ll share that another time. Or maybe I’ll write a post about rekindling my romance with Mark Zuckerberg’s love child and ask all of you to friend me on Facebook. My time on Facebook coached me on things wives say, particularly in reference to their husbands, and a good portion of the time I thought it was weird.
Status: I’m going out on a date with my man.
Status: My man is such a stud.
Status: Date night with my man, my rock, my strength.
Um, okay. Cool, I hope your date with Jesus is awesome.
Oh, you were talking about your husband? Oops.
Status: My man is THE man of all men that ever lived.
Alright, so I never actually saw that last one (pretty close though), but you get the point. You’ve seen these types of posts too, right? Maybe you liked them, maybe you were jealous, or maybe you were indifferent. Here’s how I often felt as I read about these types of posts and comments.
Why is date night such a huge deal for married people? WHY?
And, referring to your significant other as “your man” or “your woman”- I just can’t go there, friends. We all have first names. Pet names are fine, but when you’re publically referring to your loved one via their gender, that’s weird to me. Plus, if my husband’s confidence rests in me publically stroking his ego, then we’ve got some major marital issues to address. Ahem, moving along…
A couple years ago, during pre-marital counseling, my husband and I were encouraged to make weekly date nights a priority. It was important that we reconnect, rekindled the romance, do fun things together. We both nodded, and smiled at one another. Date nights, yes, on board with that. Yet, we’re nearing three years away from that pastor’s office and those counseling sessions, and I’ve got a new opinion on the ever important and oft advised date night.
I think they’re overrated.
Date mornings or afternoons, those too, are overrated. Don’t think you can bate me with switching up the time of day.
I’m just not that into date night because they haven’t proved to be the best way to bond with my husband, especially dates that we plan in advance. Please don’t misunderstand, I’m not saying we never, ever go on dates or that I begrudge people that do. I just think there is some pressure, particularly in Christian circles, to make date nights happen in order to experience marital bliss. Maybe we’re the odd ones, but I tend to think that there are other couples in the world who develop their relationship without a weekly date night.
The best way to bond, for us, has been through simply living daily life together.
Come to think of it, sharing daily life was the best way for me to bond with anyone I ever dated too. Romantic dates or exciting trips can be fun; I have special memories that I treasure because of those experiences, but it is through regular, daily routines that I came to truly know someone.
So, when I read things like this article on eHow, I have to laugh. And when I read about Focus on the Family’s Date Night Challenge, which took place a couple years ago, I shake my head because I just don’t believe that specific time set aside to spend with your spouse is the best way to celebrate a relationship. What do you think?
Some of you have been married for a lot longer than we have, and I’d welcome your opinion or story in the comment section. Some of you aren’t married, and I’d love to hear your thoughts about this whole idea. How can we celebrate the significant people in our lives?